Food Addiction and Me - Part I

I want to write when I thinking of beginning and not when I am 100 pounds lighter.

These days we are talking a lot about eating habits, and ‘we’ includes my sister and my mom. Its not these days only, basically that’s the thing that doesn’t adhere the “everything changes” rule of universe. We all collectively have reached to a conclusion that first we need to figure this out psychologically.

Turns out I am the worst food addict in the group. Yes, food addiction is real. Its not a myth; like thyroid dysfunction and malnourished fat people, *chuckles*. Its when you can’t function like any other addictive habit. All that is keeping you alive is your desire to eat. While eating I am thinking about how good next meal should be. While eating my current meal, I am angry at myself when I can’t shove more food down my throat. There’s a general procedure to get rid of over-eating, which is, when you feel full take a break for 10 minutes before you eat more. Oh, I take a long break of 30 minutes so that the layers settle in and I can eat more, and I do eat it. My rock bottom till now (fingers crossed) was, I ate so much and for so long that my jaws started hurting from all the chewing, and my wrists and elbows started cramping from transporting food from everywhere possible to my mouth.

This is a regular funny occurrence, I had a full meal of 3 rotis with dal and bhindi. I was hungry again, and ready for the next meal within 41 minutes. No matter, where I am, what I am doing, who is around me, this hunger keeps me alive. When I am thinking of cutting back on calories I just forget how to look forward towards something in future.

It’s a battle. I am sharing this now, because I don’t want to forget what I am fighting with. I am sharing this so that the path taken doesn’t fade away when the bridges get burnt. I hope they do. This thought of one day at a time is positive, but scary as hell.