A Normal Day, or Was it?

I met my Zumba trainer, she is a dancer, brilliant performer and creator. Actually I used to attend her class around 5 years ago and then we just didn't lose touch. We decided to hang out one day, for the first time. I was not sure how it would go and what to expect. It was a big thing for me, that somebody is excited to meet me. It is out of box thinking for me. Ha ha

We discussed about a ton of things. Its been long since I had a discussion like that with anyone. There was no time constraint, we didn't have to part at such and such time, or any barriers around the thoughts. It was very fulfilling. Then I went to meet my another friend on that very same day. She was with her sister. 

On one hand, we were talking about performing activism, body image, self worth, boundaries, respect for thoughts and how to spread self love, etc and then there is this girl in her pre-tweens right in front of me calculating her self worth in the parameters of how boys look at her, how much they spend on her, how expensive things she has and how she is able to fool her guardians. Now I am not judging her by her looks and clothes. I know her more than that. Its not that I was jealous of her, or feeling like I was missing out on something. Ok, I am not going to lie I felt both the things for first 15 minutes. But overall I felt deeply hurt to see someone who is so lonely and to fill that void is going any heights. That's what we all do, find ways to fill the missing blank.

Actually I have no good way of ending this blog, I was just a spectator there. I felt a ton of things. I am writing those feelings but how does it help her? Does she even need help? What can I do for somebody who is in her place?

Then there is my trainer, she invited me to collaborate with her to build an art piece, that will speak about what we are going through. This all happened on the same day. It is a very big thing for me that she considered me. I never saw that coming, I did not expect that day to go like that.

That day I could see within me, who I was and where I am now. The middle parts are blurry, now I am just curious to know what happened with me. I know I am here and I was there, what about in between!

PS : I am all confused